If you read this blog you should know that I'm an avid consumer of the Top Model franchise. ANTM of course if the mother, but Australia's Next Top Model is totally the hip, more attractive younger sister. And as a result of AusNTM, I will forever be in love with Australians. So here is the promo for Cycle 6 (and how amazing is it when Alex Perry says "Expensive"????)
Showing posts with label ANTM listicle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ANTM listicle. Show all posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Top 20 Worst Photos in the History of America's Next Top Model
I decided that it was high time for the flip side of the ANTM coin. Instead of the Top 20 Photos in the History of America's Next Top Model, we instead have the worst photos. Again, I judged these photographs on the quality of the modeling to the untrained eye, the styling, and the overall artistic composition. Mainly I will let these photos stand for themselves more than I did with the good photographs because when we're dealing with ANTM, man, do the bad photos speak for themselves or what?
And boy do we have some doozies! I think it's possible that some cycles don't even have representatives in this list--aren't they lucky? I will say that we got 3--count 'em, THREE--winners of cycles in this list.
20. Fo, cycle 12
First off, what the FUUUUUUUUUUCK is going on with the set of this photo shoot? I remember feeling very strange when I watched this particular episode. Since it was in Brazil I guess they figured that a bikini shoot was appropriate and they wanted to show the "characters" of Brazil but the level of camp in this...is.not.good. I don't even have much to say about it because of its utter mediocrity, but my one criticism is that Fo made herself look much shorter by using this angle and what is up with her random dangling left arm? When you look at a photograph of a model you should never feel like she had to make an active decision to pose that way. It should look natural.
19. Laura, cycle 13
As I said, I love Laura like I love me some grits but this photo is odd, even though it isn't entirely her fault. They way they've photoshopped it makes her look like some sort of weird plastic doll. Nothing about the rope is flattering, also.
18. Kara, cycle 13
I didn't like Kara in cycle 13, I'll admit it. And sometimes the personality does get in the way of the photograph. But in this particular photo, nothing about it is cohesive. She's supposed to be emulating a photo from her childhood and instead it just looks like some chick with a bunch of office plants and terrible hair.
17. April, cycle 2
No head, no right leg, and also a crotch shot. In addition, the photoshopping and the outfit are too tacky for words. I don't care if this was the style back in the day when these steve madden ads used to run.
16. McKey, cycle 11
Everything about this photo screams insecurity, which is because McKey spent most of this photo shoot standing around like a wooden block. Jay eventually had to get her outside of her box by convincing her to do boxing moves. Therefore this shit is forced.
15. Whitney, cycle 10
I included this picture because the overall shoot itself was probably one of the worst in top model history purely because of the styling. Not one but FOUR girls had meat panties?!?! I've included the other shots below to show how truly horrific meat panties really are, but whitney's meat panties are by far the most...diaperish. And everything about this photo shoot screams "statement" without saying anything.
14. Anchal, cycle 7
I remember Tyra wondering if this photo shoot was a bad idea because practically every contestant bombed it, and man I gotta say: she was right. Stick some girls in a crazy vent that forces them into the air and expect them to take a good picture? Poor insecure Anchal...her face looks awkward and strained, her boobs are forced flat by the wind, and that photoshopped universe behind her is the cheesiest thing since pepper jack.
13. Nicole, cycle 2
Don't remember Nicole but this is some slutty Maxim bikini shit and I hate it. It's Klassy with a Kapital K.
12. Tessa, cycle 1
Ditto what I said for Nicole in picture 13, but this one has the added bonus of an extremely strange pose. Poor Tessa, we hardly knew ye.
11. Ann, cycle 3
Ann, even if she was gorgeous, was a particularly inept model. When given hideous styling and told to jump around a trampoline, her first response was to go flying through the air like the atom bomb that represents the quality of this photo.
10. Jaslene, cycle 8
I've included this picture (and another one below) to illustrate one of my biggest pet peeves in ANTM modeling: the chick with the perpetually raised eyebrow. Jaslene had four photographs in which to express four different parts of her personality and in every one of them one of her eyebrows is raised and she looks exactly the same. And modelesque doesn't describe someone's personality as much as it describes your outsides, raised eyebrow and all. FAIL.
9. Dominique, cycle 10
Speaking of drag queens (see Jaslene's picture above) Dominique looks like one in this picture. I'm not saying that to hate, but it was one of her biggest failures as a female model.
8. Tahlia, cycle 11
I have a double header of Tahlia pictures here although I would have liked to include every one of her photos. She was, is, and always will be my least favorite ANTM contestant of all time, mainly because of her perpetually raised eyebrow (THE GRAVEST OFFENSE) and her utterly shitty personality. Burns over 2/3 of her body or no, she was just Tyra's pet cause of the season and didn't know modeling from a piece of trash on the ground (and believe me, the way I just phrased that is considerably less vitriolic than what I previously thought to write).
So this picture sucks because she was supposed to represent the color purple and all she did was raise her eyebrow.
7. Tahlia, cycle 11
And this picture sucks because she's inept. The "bad" teenagers are ridiculous. Tyra wanted this photo shoot to be about how little girls grow up too fast, so she had the models acting out innocent girls while bad teenagers stood around in the background, but by god, what the hell does that have to do with fashion?
6. Natasha, cycle 8
So all of the following pictures have something MAJORLY wrong with them if they manage to be worse than Tahlia's BS. In this photo, Natasha's foreignness is somehow visually clear because she really doesn't know what the hell a teacher's pet is supposed to be doing. The lighting is wonky, the styling is trashy, and she's just sitting there lamely.
5. Megan, cycle 7
This girl could have been Helen of Troy and blonde hair Princess Leia buns on top of her head would still have made her look terrible.
4. Xiomara, cycle 2
Underwater shoots are always hard and as a rule I don't like the kinds of photographs they produce. So in Xiomara's defense, it's not her, it's me. That being said, she didn't even get her eyes open and her mouth makes it look like she's about to poop.
3. Megg, cycle 7
Megg had a huge disadvantage because of all the cool circus themes she could have gotten, she had to be the bearded lady and only got to work with a couple bales of hay on set. However, she is literally just standing there playing with her hair. She actually looks like she's listening to critique from Jay instead of doing anything.
That all being said, she had one of my favorite post-elimination departures of all time on ANTM.
"Me and my friend, you know, we're going to make a band. It's gonna be like a rock and roll model band. Rock and roll man, life is awesome, I'm gonna go make some music"....or something along those lines
2. Lluvy, cycle 4
Dubbed the worst picture in the history of ANTM by Tyra during the 4th cycle, this picture hasn't stood the test of time as the worst of all time, although it is still sitting pretty at number 2. This poor girl's face just could not take that many big ass sequins and to top it off she's awkwardly leaning off with her hands in the air.
1. Kathy, cycle 6
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Without a doubt, this is the worst photo in the history of the show. I was so certain of this fact that I put this picture and wrote this portion of the post before I was even done sorting the rest of the photos from the rest of the cycles. I was so certain of this fact that I was ready to put the photo in the worst list the minute I conceived of doing ANTM listicles. I was so certain of this fact that when I watched this first episode of cycle 6, I knew Kathy was out the minute I saw this photo and immediately thought "that is the worst picture in the history, present, and future of America's.Next.Top.Model." I mean, really? could her eyes be any more blank (or look bizarrely more mean?) Could the composition of the photograph itself be anymore dissonant? I think I'll stop here and let the truly terrible speak for itself because I don't want to blast any of these models for how they look or who they are. And to be honest--Kathy had potential, as she was from NC, and I always root for my hometown. But this picture, to put it crudely, simply did not cut the cheese.
And boy do we have some doozies! I think it's possible that some cycles don't even have representatives in this list--aren't they lucky? I will say that we got 3--count 'em, THREE--winners of cycles in this list.
20. Fo, cycle 12
First off, what the FUUUUUUUUUUCK is going on with the set of this photo shoot? I remember feeling very strange when I watched this particular episode. Since it was in Brazil I guess they figured that a bikini shoot was appropriate and they wanted to show the "characters" of Brazil but the level of camp in this...is.not.good. I don't even have much to say about it because of its utter mediocrity, but my one criticism is that Fo made herself look much shorter by using this angle and what is up with her random dangling left arm? When you look at a photograph of a model you should never feel like she had to make an active decision to pose that way. It should look natural.
19. Laura, cycle 13
As I said, I love Laura like I love me some grits but this photo is odd, even though it isn't entirely her fault. They way they've photoshopped it makes her look like some sort of weird plastic doll. Nothing about the rope is flattering, also.
18. Kara, cycle 13
I didn't like Kara in cycle 13, I'll admit it. And sometimes the personality does get in the way of the photograph. But in this particular photo, nothing about it is cohesive. She's supposed to be emulating a photo from her childhood and instead it just looks like some chick with a bunch of office plants and terrible hair.
17. April, cycle 2
No head, no right leg, and also a crotch shot. In addition, the photoshopping and the outfit are too tacky for words. I don't care if this was the style back in the day when these steve madden ads used to run.
16. McKey, cycle 11
Everything about this photo screams insecurity, which is because McKey spent most of this photo shoot standing around like a wooden block. Jay eventually had to get her outside of her box by convincing her to do boxing moves. Therefore this shit is forced.
15. Whitney, cycle 10
I included this picture because the overall shoot itself was probably one of the worst in top model history purely because of the styling. Not one but FOUR girls had meat panties?!?! I've included the other shots below to show how truly horrific meat panties really are, but whitney's meat panties are by far the most...diaperish. And everything about this photo shoot screams "statement" without saying anything.
14. Anchal, cycle 7
I remember Tyra wondering if this photo shoot was a bad idea because practically every contestant bombed it, and man I gotta say: she was right. Stick some girls in a crazy vent that forces them into the air and expect them to take a good picture? Poor insecure Anchal...her face looks awkward and strained, her boobs are forced flat by the wind, and that photoshopped universe behind her is the cheesiest thing since pepper jack.
13. Nicole, cycle 2
Don't remember Nicole but this is some slutty Maxim bikini shit and I hate it. It's Klassy with a Kapital K.
12. Tessa, cycle 1
Ditto what I said for Nicole in picture 13, but this one has the added bonus of an extremely strange pose. Poor Tessa, we hardly knew ye.
11. Ann, cycle 3
Ann, even if she was gorgeous, was a particularly inept model. When given hideous styling and told to jump around a trampoline, her first response was to go flying through the air like the atom bomb that represents the quality of this photo.
10. Jaslene, cycle 8
I've included this picture (and another one below) to illustrate one of my biggest pet peeves in ANTM modeling: the chick with the perpetually raised eyebrow. Jaslene had four photographs in which to express four different parts of her personality and in every one of them one of her eyebrows is raised and she looks exactly the same. And modelesque doesn't describe someone's personality as much as it describes your outsides, raised eyebrow and all. FAIL.
9. Dominique, cycle 10
Speaking of drag queens (see Jaslene's picture above) Dominique looks like one in this picture. I'm not saying that to hate, but it was one of her biggest failures as a female model.
8. Tahlia, cycle 11
I have a double header of Tahlia pictures here although I would have liked to include every one of her photos. She was, is, and always will be my least favorite ANTM contestant of all time, mainly because of her perpetually raised eyebrow (THE GRAVEST OFFENSE) and her utterly shitty personality. Burns over 2/3 of her body or no, she was just Tyra's pet cause of the season and didn't know modeling from a piece of trash on the ground (and believe me, the way I just phrased that is considerably less vitriolic than what I previously thought to write).
So this picture sucks because she was supposed to represent the color purple and all she did was raise her eyebrow.
7. Tahlia, cycle 11
And this picture sucks because she's inept. The "bad" teenagers are ridiculous. Tyra wanted this photo shoot to be about how little girls grow up too fast, so she had the models acting out innocent girls while bad teenagers stood around in the background, but by god, what the hell does that have to do with fashion?
6. Natasha, cycle 8
So all of the following pictures have something MAJORLY wrong with them if they manage to be worse than Tahlia's BS. In this photo, Natasha's foreignness is somehow visually clear because she really doesn't know what the hell a teacher's pet is supposed to be doing. The lighting is wonky, the styling is trashy, and she's just sitting there lamely.
5. Megan, cycle 7
This girl could have been Helen of Troy and blonde hair Princess Leia buns on top of her head would still have made her look terrible.
4. Xiomara, cycle 2
Underwater shoots are always hard and as a rule I don't like the kinds of photographs they produce. So in Xiomara's defense, it's not her, it's me. That being said, she didn't even get her eyes open and her mouth makes it look like she's about to poop.
3. Megg, cycle 7
Megg had a huge disadvantage because of all the cool circus themes she could have gotten, she had to be the bearded lady and only got to work with a couple bales of hay on set. However, she is literally just standing there playing with her hair. She actually looks like she's listening to critique from Jay instead of doing anything.
That all being said, she had one of my favorite post-elimination departures of all time on ANTM.
"Me and my friend, you know, we're going to make a band. It's gonna be like a rock and roll model band. Rock and roll man, life is awesome, I'm gonna go make some music"....or something along those lines
2. Lluvy, cycle 4
Dubbed the worst picture in the history of ANTM by Tyra during the 4th cycle, this picture hasn't stood the test of time as the worst of all time, although it is still sitting pretty at number 2. This poor girl's face just could not take that many big ass sequins and to top it off she's awkwardly leaning off with her hands in the air.
1. Kathy, cycle 6
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Without a doubt, this is the worst photo in the history of the show. I was so certain of this fact that I put this picture and wrote this portion of the post before I was even done sorting the rest of the photos from the rest of the cycles. I was so certain of this fact that I was ready to put the photo in the worst list the minute I conceived of doing ANTM listicles. I was so certain of this fact that when I watched this first episode of cycle 6, I knew Kathy was out the minute I saw this photo and immediately thought "that is the worst picture in the history, present, and future of America's.Next.Top.Model." I mean, really? could her eyes be any more blank (or look bizarrely more mean?) Could the composition of the photograph itself be anymore dissonant? I think I'll stop here and let the truly terrible speak for itself because I don't want to blast any of these models for how they look or who they are. And to be honest--Kathy had potential, as she was from NC, and I always root for my hometown. But this picture, to put it crudely, simply did not cut the cheese.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Top 20 photographs in the History of America's Next Top Model
I discovered this website called all-antm.net that you can register for and gain access to every photo in.the.history.of.america's.next.top.model. I am overjoyed. I am overwhelmed with the endless possibilities (the tyra possibilities?) for various ANTM-related lists. My roommate has the patient of a saint because she endured me showing her photo after photo, cycle after cycle tonight, because, frankly, there are some darned lot of photographs to choose from.
I've decided to make a new feature here at S n K, which is mainly that I'm occasionally going to do an ANTM listicle. These will probably be created at random and at my leisure but I've decided to go for the Big Bang to start off this amazing new chapter in all of our lives: The Top 20 Photos in the History of America's Next Top Model.
I feel the need to set out a few guidelines for my judging before we get to the good stuff. Namely, I am not a photographer, nor do I work in fashion. These are purely the best photographs based on my taste and eye as an artist and avid consumer of fashion magazines. These photos might not be good modeling, and the girl photographed might suck as a person (god that is true of many girls who have been on that show). I chose photographs for their a) subjective beauty, b) interesting composition, c) styling, d) theme of the shoot, and e) memorable nature. I tried to include as many girls from as many cycles as I could, but I still had the final say--which is that if CariDee has two photos that are better than the best photo from Cycle 1, I'm going go with her 2 photos (btw this is true of my list but damn, the shit from cycle 1 looks amateurish to me. Oh, how the times have changed in Top Modeland).
One pattern that amazed me the most was how so many of my photos were not judged the best at panel. The photo that has been deemed the best photo in the history of top model (see cycle 11, lauren brie, balloon shoot) has not made the list. I never liked that photo and I never will. The composition is not dynamic and her shoulder looks F-ed. On the other hand, a couple of photos I have chosen either got a girl eliminated, or were taken of a girl that few people remember. Weee! I love going back into the obscure bowels of Top Model History. I can't wait until Australia's next top model has enough cycles for this sort of list to be fruitful.
So, in descending order, we begin with:
20. Kahlen, cycle 2
Kahlen was one of my favorite top model girls, although her photos weren't particularly inspiring to me, hence this one photograph being at the end of the list. Obviously, that is not exactly her fault as the styling or themes of the shoot often dictate how cool or interesting the photos are. But I love her natural look in this shot and the backlighting makes for a very warm and beautiful glow.
19. Marjorie, cycle 11
Marjorie also comes in as one of my favorite top model girls, though because of her utterly twitchy personality. This photo got her eliminated, but I've always loved it. The campy amsterdam background combined with her fashion-y awkwardness are in great contrast, and I can TOTES imagine this image being in Jane Magazine, if it hadn't gone bankrupt (R.I.P Jane! There went my dream job but for the grace of god).
18. Joanie, cycle 6
Obviously the theme of this shoot is strangely misogynistic (oh...so the girl is the dummy...operated by the man!!!...omg). However, Joanie really captured the dummy's stance and vacant look. This photo has a great level of theatricality.
17. Victoria, cycle 9
Cycle 9 was the pits. The girls in that cycle were absolutely horrendous, ending with the worst fart of a winner ever, Saleisha. The one thing I always loved about this cycle was the Ivy League Victoria, who liked to pick on Twiggy during panel. Oh, Victoria, Twiggy never "got" you, did she? Twiggy did say (and I agree with her) that there was a vulnerability to this photo that makes Victoria look like a brown-eyed deer, and that is why I was able to remember it even after Victoria got cut after three episodes. I wonder if she's like a brain surgeon now or some crazy shit.
16. Bre, cycle 5
I surprised myself with the inclusion of this photo because I barely remembered this photo shoot before I can began rifling through it. But Bre looks awesome here and all the rightward motion in this shot makes it really compelling.
15. CariDee, cycle 7
This shoot is when my love of Caridee was sealed. That elephant trunk looks so fucking hip its painful. It may be cliched, but circus-themed photo shoots are overdone for a reason. They always look FIERCE.
14. Elina, cycle 11
Including this particular photo actually makes me feel like I'm going to come across as a lesbian. This fact wouldn't bother me at all of course, but it does remind me of this one conversation I had with my brother when I was in middle school or early high school. I was downloading pretty photos of Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie onto the family computer because I loved them back then, and he remarked that a guy could never download photos of hot actors without his sexuality being seriously questioned. Now, I love appreciating beautiful women, but this remark always stuck with me. But Elina is gorgeous, and even though she had the personality of a wet noodle that turn into barbed wire on the way down your throat, she undeniably deserved the best photo win that she got the week of this photo shoot.
13. Lauren Brie, cycle 11
This photo, although not number 1, inspired me to make this list...I sought out all-antm.net because I saw this photo in passing online. I had forgotten how utterly amazing it was. I love that the focal point is off-center, yet Lauren looks so symmetrical. It is dynamite.
12. Erin, cycle 13
I had to come to terms with my hatred for Erin before putting this photo up, but this has got to be the only ANTM photo that truly proves Tyra's constant point that alien can be a good thing. She also looks like a contemporary take on a victorian portrait, like girl with a pearl earring. It's so fierce it hurts--god i love pretty things lookin' ugly. Also, why does Tyra never say fierce anymore?
11. Allison, cycle 12
I struggled with the idea of including anything from the dreaded cycle 12 (aka Cycle Tahlia) but this photo of Allison is just too much. Awwwww...fluffy little birdie! But...artsy!
10. Samantha, cycle 11
So cycle 11 is in a dead heat with cycle 7 for most represented cycle in this list...I'm not sure why. I will say that these two cycles both created a great desire for me to actually own photographs from ANTM--a very weird thought. That being said, this photo is so mod, and the splash in the foreground gives the picture very nice depth.
9. Laura, cycle 13
I love me some Laura like I love me some grits, and boy let me tell you: that is a lot. You will probably see her on future positive listicles. You should check out her blog if you want some warm fuzzies. The judge said she looked like a Renaissance woman in the picture. She looks so serene and so soft and so pink that she's like a high-quality marshmallow. Delicious.
8. Anya, cycle 10
They claimed this picture was an accident in judging (she's about to fall off the step), but it's still such a pretty moment it gets into the top ten through the sheer beauty of Anya alone.
7. Rae, cycle 13
Cycle 13 started off strong, and this photo is pretty much the reason why. The light is fantastic.
6. Eugena, cycle 7
Again, this was a photo I had forgotten about. It's compelling because it's so raw and Eugena is probably one of the more underrated ANTM girls. She was an absolute stunner, even if she was a little quiet, and the power of emotion behind this photo speaks to the fact that her exterior obviously concealed a great deal that she didn't allow to make its way onto national television. Suck it, Tyra! Even if she did make top 3!!
5. CariDee and Amanda, cycle 7
When my mom and I saw this photo on the TV we gasped. I'm not even sure what else there is to say about it--of course Amanda got kicked off in this episode, although for what I can't remember. I just love flowy shit and contrasting colors (see the next photo, obviously).
4. Yoanna and Shandi, cycle 2
This picture is amazing because of how sexually charged it is. I'll make no bones about it, it is some serious lesbian shit. The sensuous look on yoanna's face, the ecstasy of shandi's--they never let us see the full shot (maybe it was originally cropped like this) so we can all wonder....ooooh voyeurism.
3. Danielle, cycle 6
Danielle actually took this picture after a couple hours in the hospital after fainting during a challenge. She was barfing, dehydrated, and sick as a dog. And then she got on a top of an elephant and looked so serene and amazing, she made it to the top 3. I am impartial to this photo because of the elephant, of course, but this moment is so pure on both parts that I simply love it.
2. Brittany, cycle 8
My last two photos are violent and thematic because of Tyra's half-baked ideas about what it means to be in fashion (i.e. she blatantly rips off ideas from high-fashion as if that makes the show cutting edge in some way). There was recently a Jezebel post about death in fashion and whether it was appropriate (of course linking to this photo shoot, though not this particular picture). I was conflicted when I read about this--I honestly love seeing death used in fashion spreads, namely because I like to use them for my collages. Regardless, Brittany ended up getting cut because she threw a tantrum after missing the time cutoff for her go-sees, but not for this photo and not for this episode.
1. Michelle, cycle 7
The twins were honestly my favorite ANTM contestants of all time, and I still think they should have been the top 2 (sorry Caridee! Loved ya on Gossip Girl, girl!!!!). That being said, Michelle was clearly the more natural model of the two, even if she threw herself under the bus at the end to save her twin from elimination. She claimed she didn't even know if she wanted to model...and that she was a bisexual? Or maybe a lesbian? But definitely not straight. She was a total basketball dyke. It was awesome. But I digress. This shoot was based on stereotypes about models, and Michelle was supposed to represent bulimia. The action of this photo is really compelling and very gritty. It's haunting in a gruesome way. And that's why I think it was the best photo of all time.
Thoughts? Opinions? Would you like to contribute your own lists?
I've decided to make a new feature here at S n K, which is mainly that I'm occasionally going to do an ANTM listicle. These will probably be created at random and at my leisure but I've decided to go for the Big Bang to start off this amazing new chapter in all of our lives: The Top 20 Photos in the History of America's Next Top Model.
I feel the need to set out a few guidelines for my judging before we get to the good stuff. Namely, I am not a photographer, nor do I work in fashion. These are purely the best photographs based on my taste and eye as an artist and avid consumer of fashion magazines. These photos might not be good modeling, and the girl photographed might suck as a person (god that is true of many girls who have been on that show). I chose photographs for their a) subjective beauty, b) interesting composition, c) styling, d) theme of the shoot, and e) memorable nature. I tried to include as many girls from as many cycles as I could, but I still had the final say--which is that if CariDee has two photos that are better than the best photo from Cycle 1, I'm going go with her 2 photos (btw this is true of my list but damn, the shit from cycle 1 looks amateurish to me. Oh, how the times have changed in Top Modeland).
One pattern that amazed me the most was how so many of my photos were not judged the best at panel. The photo that has been deemed the best photo in the history of top model (see cycle 11, lauren brie, balloon shoot) has not made the list. I never liked that photo and I never will. The composition is not dynamic and her shoulder looks F-ed. On the other hand, a couple of photos I have chosen either got a girl eliminated, or were taken of a girl that few people remember. Weee! I love going back into the obscure bowels of Top Model History. I can't wait until Australia's next top model has enough cycles for this sort of list to be fruitful.
So, in descending order, we begin with:
20. Kahlen, cycle 2
Kahlen was one of my favorite top model girls, although her photos weren't particularly inspiring to me, hence this one photograph being at the end of the list. Obviously, that is not exactly her fault as the styling or themes of the shoot often dictate how cool or interesting the photos are. But I love her natural look in this shot and the backlighting makes for a very warm and beautiful glow.
19. Marjorie, cycle 11
Marjorie also comes in as one of my favorite top model girls, though because of her utterly twitchy personality. This photo got her eliminated, but I've always loved it. The campy amsterdam background combined with her fashion-y awkwardness are in great contrast, and I can TOTES imagine this image being in Jane Magazine, if it hadn't gone bankrupt (R.I.P Jane! There went my dream job but for the grace of god).
18. Joanie, cycle 6
Obviously the theme of this shoot is strangely misogynistic (oh...so the girl is the dummy...operated by the man!!!...omg). However, Joanie really captured the dummy's stance and vacant look. This photo has a great level of theatricality.
17. Victoria, cycle 9
Cycle 9 was the pits. The girls in that cycle were absolutely horrendous, ending with the worst fart of a winner ever, Saleisha. The one thing I always loved about this cycle was the Ivy League Victoria, who liked to pick on Twiggy during panel. Oh, Victoria, Twiggy never "got" you, did she? Twiggy did say (and I agree with her) that there was a vulnerability to this photo that makes Victoria look like a brown-eyed deer, and that is why I was able to remember it even after Victoria got cut after three episodes. I wonder if she's like a brain surgeon now or some crazy shit.
16. Bre, cycle 5
I surprised myself with the inclusion of this photo because I barely remembered this photo shoot before I can began rifling through it. But Bre looks awesome here and all the rightward motion in this shot makes it really compelling.
15. CariDee, cycle 7
This shoot is when my love of Caridee was sealed. That elephant trunk looks so fucking hip its painful. It may be cliched, but circus-themed photo shoots are overdone for a reason. They always look FIERCE.
14. Elina, cycle 11
Including this particular photo actually makes me feel like I'm going to come across as a lesbian. This fact wouldn't bother me at all of course, but it does remind me of this one conversation I had with my brother when I was in middle school or early high school. I was downloading pretty photos of Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie onto the family computer because I loved them back then, and he remarked that a guy could never download photos of hot actors without his sexuality being seriously questioned. Now, I love appreciating beautiful women, but this remark always stuck with me. But Elina is gorgeous, and even though she had the personality of a wet noodle that turn into barbed wire on the way down your throat, she undeniably deserved the best photo win that she got the week of this photo shoot.
13. Lauren Brie, cycle 11
This photo, although not number 1, inspired me to make this list...I sought out all-antm.net because I saw this photo in passing online. I had forgotten how utterly amazing it was. I love that the focal point is off-center, yet Lauren looks so symmetrical. It is dynamite.
12. Erin, cycle 13
I had to come to terms with my hatred for Erin before putting this photo up, but this has got to be the only ANTM photo that truly proves Tyra's constant point that alien can be a good thing. She also looks like a contemporary take on a victorian portrait, like girl with a pearl earring. It's so fierce it hurts--god i love pretty things lookin' ugly. Also, why does Tyra never say fierce anymore?
11. Allison, cycle 12
I struggled with the idea of including anything from the dreaded cycle 12 (aka Cycle Tahlia) but this photo of Allison is just too much. Awwwww...fluffy little birdie! But...artsy!
10. Samantha, cycle 11
So cycle 11 is in a dead heat with cycle 7 for most represented cycle in this list...I'm not sure why. I will say that these two cycles both created a great desire for me to actually own photographs from ANTM--a very weird thought. That being said, this photo is so mod, and the splash in the foreground gives the picture very nice depth.
9. Laura, cycle 13
I love me some Laura like I love me some grits, and boy let me tell you: that is a lot. You will probably see her on future positive listicles. You should check out her blog if you want some warm fuzzies. The judge said she looked like a Renaissance woman in the picture. She looks so serene and so soft and so pink that she's like a high-quality marshmallow. Delicious.
8. Anya, cycle 10
They claimed this picture was an accident in judging (she's about to fall off the step), but it's still such a pretty moment it gets into the top ten through the sheer beauty of Anya alone.
7. Rae, cycle 13
Cycle 13 started off strong, and this photo is pretty much the reason why. The light is fantastic.
6. Eugena, cycle 7
Again, this was a photo I had forgotten about. It's compelling because it's so raw and Eugena is probably one of the more underrated ANTM girls. She was an absolute stunner, even if she was a little quiet, and the power of emotion behind this photo speaks to the fact that her exterior obviously concealed a great deal that she didn't allow to make its way onto national television. Suck it, Tyra! Even if she did make top 3!!
5. CariDee and Amanda, cycle 7
When my mom and I saw this photo on the TV we gasped. I'm not even sure what else there is to say about it--of course Amanda got kicked off in this episode, although for what I can't remember. I just love flowy shit and contrasting colors (see the next photo, obviously).
4. Yoanna and Shandi, cycle 2
This picture is amazing because of how sexually charged it is. I'll make no bones about it, it is some serious lesbian shit. The sensuous look on yoanna's face, the ecstasy of shandi's--they never let us see the full shot (maybe it was originally cropped like this) so we can all wonder....ooooh voyeurism.
3. Danielle, cycle 6
Danielle actually took this picture after a couple hours in the hospital after fainting during a challenge. She was barfing, dehydrated, and sick as a dog. And then she got on a top of an elephant and looked so serene and amazing, she made it to the top 3. I am impartial to this photo because of the elephant, of course, but this moment is so pure on both parts that I simply love it.
2. Brittany, cycle 8
My last two photos are violent and thematic because of Tyra's half-baked ideas about what it means to be in fashion (i.e. she blatantly rips off ideas from high-fashion as if that makes the show cutting edge in some way). There was recently a Jezebel post about death in fashion and whether it was appropriate (of course linking to this photo shoot, though not this particular picture). I was conflicted when I read about this--I honestly love seeing death used in fashion spreads, namely because I like to use them for my collages. Regardless, Brittany ended up getting cut because she threw a tantrum after missing the time cutoff for her go-sees, but not for this photo and not for this episode.
1. Michelle, cycle 7
The twins were honestly my favorite ANTM contestants of all time, and I still think they should have been the top 2 (sorry Caridee! Loved ya on Gossip Girl, girl!!!!). That being said, Michelle was clearly the more natural model of the two, even if she threw herself under the bus at the end to save her twin from elimination. She claimed she didn't even know if she wanted to model...and that she was a bisexual? Or maybe a lesbian? But definitely not straight. She was a total basketball dyke. It was awesome. But I digress. This shoot was based on stereotypes about models, and Michelle was supposed to represent bulimia. The action of this photo is really compelling and very gritty. It's haunting in a gruesome way. And that's why I think it was the best photo of all time.
Thoughts? Opinions? Would you like to contribute your own lists?
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