more on rape, so NSFW (ish)

READ THIS PLEASE

I have been spending a lot of time looking at materials on rape because of the recent California gang rape that I posted about a couple of days ago. Today I read this amazing piece (I am honestly not sure who the author is) about the nature of approaching a woman in public that is less heavy handed than the list of "DON'T BE A RAPIST/how to prevent sexual assault" tips I posted previously. I think every person should read this or be required to read this at some point in their lives. The most astounding statistic to take from the piece is that 1 in 6 women will be raped in their lifetimes, which creates some scary statistics about how many men are rapists.

One commentor had an amazingly astute response, which I've linked here, but I'm also copying for the sake of simplicity:

"You know, it never occurred to me before now, but I’ve never seen that “one in six” (or however many) statistic turned around that way, and I think that’s probably the other side of the “how not to get raped” coin. Or… I guess… the same side, but a different part of the etching. I don’t know, metaphor, not my strong suit.

MY POINT IS:

When we talk about rape as something that happens to 1 in 6 women, it is something that happens to women. Oh no, women! You have a problem! A women’s problem! That has to do with women! What are women going to do to solve this problem?

Perhaps if we rephrased that as “one in sixty (or however many) men will commit rape in his lifetime,” the problem might start to look a little different to certain people."

The point I feel like I'm coming back to, again and again, is that all materials on the nature of rape should not be PHRASED AROUND WOMEN or PHRASED AROUND THE SURVIVOR. I believe ardently that saying that 1 in 6 WOMEN will SUFFER from rape in their lifetime still somehow makes them implicit in the act. Rape isn't something that naturally happens without a perpetrator--somebody MAKES it happen, i.e. the RAPIST--and THIS PERSON is the one who should have statistics. Like "1 in 30 men will rape in his lifetime and 50% of these men will rape more than once." Doesn't that sound more truthful?

I acknowledge the fact that not all rapists are men, but still, hear me out: the RAPISTS are responsible for RAPE!!!!!!! MY CAPITAL LETTERS CAN NOT EXPRESS MY EXTREME OUTRAGE ENOUGH!!!

The bottom line is that rape is not the victim's problem to solve, ergo it is not a "woman's problem." Rape and sexual assaults are humanity's problems, period. End of story.

Stella in Leather: a Killers "Somebody Told Me" Cover

This post is actually dedicated to my friend Franny. To understand it better, you need these two pop culture references. First off, if nobody remembers the ancient Killers' song, "Somebody Told Me," here's a refresher:



Secondly, in season 5 of Project Runway, there was a designer named Stella who worked in "Leathuh." Here is an example of how she talked:



Her awesomeness is still too unique to be forgotten. So, in fit of drinking wine and random inspiration, the Killers song came on and I realized that a Stella parody fit really easily into the current lyrics. So here's my redux.


Stella "Somebody Told Me" Redux

I’m breaking my back just to sew this cow-hide
Seven challenges and I’ve had it with this ride
Breaking my back just to sew this cow-hide
But heaven is close in Parsons School
100,000 dollars for my own line, fool
Heaven is close in Parsons School
Heaven is close in Parsons School
Bring the hammer down, bring the hammer down
Gonna smash some grommets into this gown

My name is Stella
I work in Leatha
I make love to Rat Bones
So don’t you throw stones
Or metal grommets
Cuz I’ll make you vomit
It’s all about Leatha
Leatha…leatha

Ready? Let’s sew into something new
Model’s clothes so tight she’s turning a little blue

Heaven is close in Parsons School
Heaven is close in Parsons School
Bring the hammer down, bring the hammer down
Gonna smash some grommets into this gown

My name is Stella
I work in Leatha
I make love to Rat Bones
So don’t you throw stones
Or metal grommets
Cuz I’ll make you vomit
It’s all about Leatha
Leatha…leatha

Tim Gunn, please let me be
Cuz I’m working for Rat Bones, baby
Mood, give me some more leatha
And tell me it ain’t pleatha

(x3)
My name is Stella
I work in Leatha
I make love to Rat Bones
So don’t you throw stones
Or metal grommets
Cuz I’ll make you vomit
It’s all about Leatha
Leatha…leatha

this post NSFW

I read today about a brutal gang rape that occurred in California (news article here).

Not only was it a brutal gang rape, but the girl was 15 and as many as 15 people stood around and watched and/or participated.

I hate thinking about this event. I hate thinking about the ways I have to try to be safe as a girl living in a city. I hate thinking about the fact that someone will make excuses for what happened to this girl or any girl. Yes, there are gray areas when it comes to sexual assault, but the bottom line is that it is NOT THE VICTIM'S RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT BE A VICTIM. I mean, think about it--trying to not be a victim isn't a course of action you can decisively "take." You either ARE or you AREN'T based on the DECISIONS AND ACTIONS of OTHER PEOPLE.

I'll stop here with the overemphasis capital letters, but the reason I wanted to write this post was to include this list about preventing sexual assault (you can read the original web comment on Jezebel here).

"How to Prevent Sexual Assault

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how "into it" others appear to be."

I don't know if everyone has to go to Remedial How to be a Human Being 101, but the fact of the matter is that women's bodies aren't here to torture men because they are so sexual and they can't have us. We shouldn't have to wander around with our defenses up at all times because we are so sexually appealing men can't "control" themselves. I know I'm talking in ideals right now but godDAMN people! Stop it with the rape already! And stop telling women how to avoid it! Not every decision every person makes in regards to their own safety is necessarily the smartest, safest choice: but should the punishment really be brutal rape? Just because this 15 year old girl agreed to drink with a boy she knew from school, does that really mean she has to beaten until she's in critical condition? Why must the stakes be so high? Her night should have ended with a fight with her parents for breaking curfew.

amazing one of a kind barbies

Okay, normally I would try to avoid reblogging Jezebel, but as it is my main source of pop culture and this is too good to pass up, I have to point everybody's attention to this woman who makes one of a kind Barbies. They look like...actual human beings (to a certain point of course).

If you're interested in filtering through her site on your own, you can find it here.

For easier browsing, here's a link to the custom Barbies and the custom Kellys.

I've chosen a few of my favorite Kelly images (the Barbies are a horse of a different color entirely) to share here so maybe you'll be inspired to check it out. I imagine that she is getting tons of requests for dolls now that Jez has run something about her. I just cannot believe how amazing she can make a Barbie/Barbie product look. It makes me wish I knew how to redux dolls so I could make them into crazy art pieces. But anyway, onto the dolls.

pumpkin party!

DON'T BE TARDY FOR THE PARTY

So I don't what it is about this year but halloween feels really new and special to me again. Maybe it's because I carved two (count 'em TWO) pumpkins this year and have eaten a much larger quantity of pumpkin seeds than I have in the past, but it felt so special that I made a mask from scratch and everything for the occasion. This year we're rocking shark telegrams, my roomie and I, and I hope to confuse and delight everybody just.enough. through this costume. I'm so hyped...I could...I could...CHOMP.

I mean, let's be real here, this is the first Halloween I've ever had in a major American city, so I'm definitely excited for that. The thought of rolling around on public transportation with my own crazy costume on, while hopefully running into people with even crazier costumes, and hopefully everybody will be boozy enough to take random pictures with strangers--well, it all sounds too good to be true. Call me an optimist.

(A random aside--my people and I spent a good deal of one night talking about how we wanted people to start asking "how's the boozness going?" at parties and for people to say incredibly nerdy things in reply like "there have been high returns this quarter." So, check it. Make boozness happen, my ten readers!)

So in the spirit of this All Hallow's Eve, some links!

Extreme Pumpkins
The Monster Mash
A Strange Website whose url is barackobamamask.com (not my original find but i had to pass it on--and why is the face on the right NOTHING LIKE OBAMA)
This image of Lady Gaga, which would be a good costume in retrospect. CHOMP
The opening scene from Scream
....And an eyeball tattoo.

moon bombing parties in 3...2...1

Thoughts on moon bombing reblogged

http://trollcats.com/2009/10/skeptical-as-to-the-truth-of-your-assertion-trollcat/

life would be a lot sadder

postcards from yo momma reblogged

"it's like a shark telegram" (my roommate)

CHOMP. postcards from yo momma reblogged. CHOMP.

musical animals hocking candy

these might be throwbacks for a few of you, but my roommate and I recently rediscovered the awesomeness that is the singing rabbit skittles commercial and I wanted to share these videos with the reading public.

there will be more posts soon enough once I get back into the pop culture grind. But for now, I leave you with these questions:

why do weird singing animal commercials help sell candy?
why is that bunny such a bad singer?
who would really regret trading skittles for a singing bunny given that skittles are only like a dollar a bag?
why is that gorilla so hyped to play phil collins?

Moving on and Moving Out entails Moving IN

The run down of the entire experience: yet again, I made the trek from North Carolina to Oberlin to Chicago. We left on Wednesday, stayed over in Oberlin for a day, and then came to Chicago and moved all of my stuff into the apartment Friday afternoon. The day I moved in was when I hit my first big roadblock as a novice apartment-finder: it turned out there was no door to the room I had claimed as my bedroom. My mom and I were looking through the apartment and she turns to me and says "There's no door to your room!" I thought my cheeks were going to catch on fire on the spot--I couldn't believe that I had missed such a key detail when I checked out the apartment TWICE before signing the lease. When I talked to the landlord about it he played extremely dumb--"This is a one bedroom apartment. That room is the living room. If you want a door you have to install it yourself and then take it with you when you leave." Ugh, I couldn't believe it. The apartment, first off, is HUGE for a one-bedroom apartment. Secondly, the layout of the apartment says that my room is the second bedroom--duh. It has a bedroom closet and everything. Granted, the room and the closet are a bit BIG (like maybe they were more intended for storage space) but still, I feel like this was all very shady dealings because I had specifically only looked at craigslist ads for 2-bedroom apartments. I also mentioned my roommate maybe like 1 million times to the dude and had probably said, WOW ISN'T THIS A NICE BEDROOM before signing a TWO PERSON lease for the apartment. Oh, god.

But anyway, my mom and I went Xena on that shit and bought a door from Home Depot and installed it in the doorway to the "Living Room." I now have the equivalent of a closet door as the door to my bedroom but it's good enough.

The other funny thing about the apartment (which I think might be the place's saving grace in the winter) is that it is above a pizza delivery place. It's called Pizza Mania (pizza by the slice, pick up or delivery) and apparently you can only get two pizzas for the price of one, unless you're ordering a slice of course. I think that's the funniest part of it--you're like, noooo, i just want one pizza, and they insist on giving you two.

Yesterday my mom and I went to this amazing resale shop called the Brown Elephant, where I found some amazing furniture for cheap. For 80 bucks I got a nightstand, a coffee table, and a rocking chair. I love all three of these things so much I feel like the pictures above are so necessary.

So now it's on to the job hunt, and my desperation in the face of sincerely wanting a temp job, and somehow hating myself for wanting that.

I'm sorry but

This shit will never get old for me.