this post NSFW

I read today about a brutal gang rape that occurred in California (news article here).

Not only was it a brutal gang rape, but the girl was 15 and as many as 15 people stood around and watched and/or participated.

I hate thinking about this event. I hate thinking about the ways I have to try to be safe as a girl living in a city. I hate thinking about the fact that someone will make excuses for what happened to this girl or any girl. Yes, there are gray areas when it comes to sexual assault, but the bottom line is that it is NOT THE VICTIM'S RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT BE A VICTIM. I mean, think about it--trying to not be a victim isn't a course of action you can decisively "take." You either ARE or you AREN'T based on the DECISIONS AND ACTIONS of OTHER PEOPLE.

I'll stop here with the overemphasis capital letters, but the reason I wanted to write this post was to include this list about preventing sexual assault (you can read the original web comment on Jezebel here).

"How to Prevent Sexual Assault

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how "into it" others appear to be."

I don't know if everyone has to go to Remedial How to be a Human Being 101, but the fact of the matter is that women's bodies aren't here to torture men because they are so sexual and they can't have us. We shouldn't have to wander around with our defenses up at all times because we are so sexually appealing men can't "control" themselves. I know I'm talking in ideals right now but godDAMN people! Stop it with the rape already! And stop telling women how to avoid it! Not every decision every person makes in regards to their own safety is necessarily the smartest, safest choice: but should the punishment really be brutal rape? Just because this 15 year old girl agreed to drink with a boy she knew from school, does that really mean she has to beaten until she's in critical condition? Why must the stakes be so high? Her night should have ended with a fight with her parents for breaking curfew.