Commenting thread that seems important to me

I'm going to leave this here with very little comment. Normally I would put one-link posts in my tumblr, but I'm trying to keep them separated thematically.

Click ahead.

Arizona raises the bar

WHAAAAAAAAAT?? (click on the what for a link to this indescribable bill in Arizona that just got passed)

What? What? What?

Horne said he believes the Mexican-American studies program teaches Latino students that they are oppressed by white people. Public schools should not be encouraging students to resent a particular race, he said.

What? What? What?

This is the greatest form of intellectual censorship of ALL TIME. Anybody who says that it's possible for history to be objective was smoking a crack pipe. I'm honestly so baffled I don't know what to say other than WHAAAAAAAT?

Suffering for Fashion

Every day Jezebel runs a ragtrade post that just has various pieces of information from the fashion industry. Today I noticed a bullet about male model Ambrose Olson, which also included a link to a bullet from another post that detailed the number of model deaths over the past two years. I have included this information for your edification:

From Today:

Male model Ambrose Olson, 24, passed away last week. According to unconfirmed reports, he committed suicide by hanging. Olson, who was well-known for campaigns including Hugo Boss, Yves Saint Laurent, andArmani, is the fifth model to take his own life in less than two years. Additionally, in November, 2008, male model Randy Johnston died of a heroin overdose, apparently accidental

From April 26

Colombian model and celebrity Lina Marulanda has died, apparently by suicide. She jumped from the balcony of her sixth floor apartment. In November of last year, 20-year-old Korean model Daul Kim was found hanged in her boyfriend's apartment in Paris; in May, also in Paris, 28-year-old model andSpider-Man 3 actress Lucy Gordon was found dead, also by hanging. In November, 2008, 26-year-old Canadian model Hayley Kohle died after falling seven stories from the balcony of her agency-run apartment in Milan, and her death was ruled a suicide. So, too, was the June, 2008, death of 20-year-old Kazakh model Ruslana Korshunova, who was killed by the fall from her New York apartment's balcony. In February, 2008, former Yves Saint Laurent muse andFrance's Next Top Model host Katoucha Niane's body was fished out of the Seine. No foul play was suspected in her death. In addition, on the same day that Kohle died, American male model Randy Johnston was found dead of an accidental heroin overdose in London.

I am not familiar with all of these models' work except for Daul Kim (I have a link to her blog in my sidebar, and it is a very interesting read). I wonder whether if this series of model deaths could be labeled a trend, and what exactly is causing them. You could probably add Alexander McQueen to this list, in a way, since he committed suicide and was a well-known fashion designer.

Of course it is ironic that the beautiful, well-traveled, and (some of them) rich people of the fashion industry are taking their own lives. It rings too true of Richard Cory, the one and only poem I have memorized, about a rich man who takes his own life even though everybody in his town envies him. I have silly dreams and aspirations about being a model; after all, I might be America's Next Top Model's biggest fan and follower (that is a big claim to make but let's just run with it for the rest of the post). What other profession so readily funds you traveling the world, wearing fabulous clothing, and getting photographed while doing it? It is like career-porn for the young.

And then there is the other side. The side that results in accidental drug overdoses or purposeful suicides, the side where these faces that we encounter on the day to day are so meaningless to us that we no longer realize how lonely it must be to model. How hard it is to be looked at like cattle and criticized constantly. And underneath that, is there even the satisfaction of knowing that your work serves a greater purpose? I love models and modeling and I can't imagine a life without them, but isn't there the tiniest nugget of truth about the fact that modeling is an inherently selfish profession? Is it possible to save a life by wearing a Valentino dress or are you just perpetuating an industry that promotes rigid beauty standards, gender norms, and industrialized capitalism?

It is a terrible shame that all of these models are taking their lives. And obviously each death is unique: unique because every person is different, unique because the reasons why it happened are individual to each person who died. But these deaths, they should be analyzed, and used as a starting point for serious change in the fashion industry. Not a dedication of an episode of a reality show to Tyra's favorite designer (photo below).

Am I a misandrist/On attempting to be "out" as a feminist

I am a feminist.

No, I'm not a misandrist.

And no, I don't think claiming the term "feminism" means that I am only a second wave white woman who believes in the rights of rich white woman but can't see past her own white nose.

I try to be all encompassing. I argue with people that I am a humanist.

Feminism has clearly needed a new definition for a while. I have heard and read so many countless weak excuses about claiming the word "feminist." Some people, some WOMEN, seem to think that their journey is over as an advocate for social justice.

For example:

"I'm not a feminist but...[insert remark about how this totally sexist/racist/classist thing REALLY SUCKS.]"

Um, no duh. You are a feminist because you hate the fact that all women are objectified in the media or because you hate the fact that black women are told they are undesirable to marry or because if you are a homeless woman you are more likely to have multiple sexual assaults then a homeless man. You are a feminist, so suck it up and claim the term.

Listen, I get the fact that you probably think that feminism is some historical term that refers to a bunch of bra-burning (that didn't happen btw) hippie women in the 70s who are so out of touch with what women really have going for them today. "That was then, when women were slapped on the ass in the workplace and placed under curfew at college," you think to yourself. "This is now, where I can be whatever I want--a doctor, a scientist, a writer--and no magazine tells me how I perceive my own body and no man tells me what I can or cannot do."

All right then! Go pat yourself on the back! Go have a drink at a bar and flirt with some guy. Have a couple more drinks to celebrate. But if you wake up tomorrow in a strange place and you realize that there is semen on your leg and you don't remember consenting to ANYTHING, you might view the situation differently when the subsequent rape trial blames YOU for being drunk, instead of your rapist for RAPING.

Yes, I brought up the rape card. Because sexual violence and feminism are two discussions that go hand in hand.

As are racism and feminism. As are homophobia and feminism. As are trans-hate and feminism. As are all things that have to deal with gender, i.e. being a human and existing in this society.

Feminism, as a movement, is here to try to end social injustice. That is it. It is not trying to prioritize women over men, or prioritize white women over black women, or poor people over rich people. It recognizes the concept of intersecting identities. If you disavow feminism, you are disavowing the struggle to bring PEACE to human race.

/If any of this sounds familiar to you, maybe it is. I write this tremulously, hoping that I won't piss anyone off, but the fact of the matter is that I worry myself. Sometimes I feel like I need to "come out of the closet" as a feminist because I am quite the chameleon. Sometimes I swallow my tongue and what I'm truly thinking. This blog is here for me to explore these thoughts. And one thought I have is--why do I have to feel like I'm covering up my feminism? You will never hear me say "I'm not a feminist, but" but you will most certainly see me sit silent while some poor girl gets lambasted for having a wrecked body. Maybe it all women's bodies weren't up for consumption at all times, we wouldn't have to be feel so guilty when we are silent in these discussions.

So anyway, reconsider the label for me, please?

Rape culture

Recently my brother emailed me a link to this article, which contained news I had already seen on Jezebel. I've been thinking a lot about it in the context of everything else I've ever read or thought about rape. The idea that people blame victims (and that women blame victims more often the men) hardly surprises me. In fact, it didn't even phase me.

A lot of the comments on these blogs that are thoughtful really hit the point about women blaming women: most women want to feel like they can do something to prevent being raped. We are told what steps to take to prevent rape, and then we think that as long as we follow those rules, we won't be raped. I'm not claiming I'm different, I'm just saying that's how it is--so there is probably some part of a woman who thinks "but that would never happen to ME because I would never get drunk/get in a car with a man/go outside/____" and thus, victim-blaming.

How I want to describe the problem with rape culture is this:

Imagine that participating in the gender binary is like driving a car. Therefore, everybody is driving at all times. Most people follow the rules of driving MOST of the time (that is, they drive on the right side of the road, they follow traffic lights, they don't drive drunk, they don't cut people off). On occasion, however, somebody breaks a driving rule, and a crash ensues. These crashes can range from fender-benders (unwanted touching) to death by car accident (rape at gunpoint).

The reason I make this analogy is to ask this question: if you knew a girl who was killed in a car accident because a drunk driver swerved across the middle lane, would you say that it was her fault because she didn't have good enough grades, because she once road in a car with another boy, because sometimes she likes to drive barefoot, or blame her for any number of actions she has taken in the past? Obviously, the answer is no (I hope). You would blame the drunk driver and punish that person and educate them on safe driving.

You can't claim that the accident was the girl's fault because she was driving to begin with--people who decide to operate outside of the driving normative by riding a bike or walking could also be struck down by a reckless driver (i.e. transgendered people, homosexual people, young people, old people). Someday everybody has got to get somewhere, and they could be struck by a careless "driver" at any time.

Additionally, in rape culture, young women are raised with lessons about How Not to be Raped, while men (and people) are not taught How Not to Rape. That's the equivalent of giving half of the populate driver's ed, refusing to educate the other half, letting the uneducated half be indoctrinated through societal messages that they should be aggressive drivers, and then blaming the educated half for getting killed in a car accident when the ignorant driver breaks a law.

In short, stop blaming the victim and start blaming the perpetrator. And then take it one step farther and start blaming rape culture.

Here are some links about Rape Culture and the consequences of rape for further enlightenment:

The Not Rape Epidemic

Short Skirts and the Politics of Sexual Assault

Why women blame rape victims

Study: women, young people blame victims for sexual assault

death and the internet

A while ago I was planning on writing a post about this Korean model named Daul Kim who had committed suicide and whose blog used to be available to the general public. (I still have a link to her blog in my links list, and I've decided to keep it there as a testament to her presence in the world, even if the police have made the blog restricted). All of her writing was interesting, poetic, disjointed. Almost all of her posts were titled "Say hi to..." and her last post was "Say Hi to Forever," although it was just a post where she embedded a youtube video. Throughout the entirety of the blog were references to her hopes and the future--indicators that she imagined living past the age of 20, although she did not.

At the time I was reading about her death and avidly reading her blog, I felt like I was in an internet car crash. The traffic has backed up for a second as everyone takes a moment to twist their necks and look at the damage. And now, as more and more people are making the internet part of their daily lives, we have more and more internet crashes available to us. When someone dies, their internet persona lives on, although in stasus. Now we can look at how people respond to the dead person's memory through the equivalent of online tombstones--is it even fair to remove a departed's facebook profile? The profile becomes digital proof that yes, this person existed.

Let's bring it all back to yesterday. As of yesterday at 3 PM, I still hadn't gotten around to writing about Daul Kim's death and her blog--in fact, I probably never was going to write about it. But then I got a call with some very bad news. My friend (and my good girl friend's husband) died unexpectedly. It's been fewer than 24 hours since I've gotten this news and it still wrenches my heart whenever I think about it clearly. To say that I lost someone when I was 22 for the rest of my life: that is a heavy burden to bear. And yet, I keep looking at his facebook profile. I can't stop. I barely looked at it when he was alive because I just don't really look that closely at my friends' facebook profiles. But now every shred of evidence of who he was and what he believed that made its way to the profile is important to me. I've gone back several times. I think about whether I should post something, or whether anyone will post anything. I wonder where he is now. I sent him a message on facebook. It was not that sentimental. I just wish I could hear him tell me to take care of myself one more time.

A memory, although not a digital one: My friends and I were playing "Loaded questions: Adult Version." It's a silly game where the group gets asked a question and everyone writes down their individual answers. Then the judge hears the answers to the question without knowing who wrote them and has to try to guess which answers matches which of the players. One of the questions during the game asked the players to compliment someone else in the room. My departed friend's answer was this "Essnk, you giggle a lot." I loved that compliment. It said so much about the person giving it--that he thought the fact that I giggled stated plainly was a compliment. I laughed for what felt like hours when I heard the response. This memory is something I keep coming back to, in the short amount of time since I heard that he passed away. I just keep thinking about giggling and wishing that I could be there to giggle for him again. That maybe, somehow, giggling could have solved anything.

These are the things I think about when I cling desparately to his internet presence. I just wanted the Essnk community to be aware of something I am going through. As this blog is a part of me now, I needed to write about this death.

more on rape, so NSFW (ish)

READ THIS PLEASE

I have been spending a lot of time looking at materials on rape because of the recent California gang rape that I posted about a couple of days ago. Today I read this amazing piece (I am honestly not sure who the author is) about the nature of approaching a woman in public that is less heavy handed than the list of "DON'T BE A RAPIST/how to prevent sexual assault" tips I posted previously. I think every person should read this or be required to read this at some point in their lives. The most astounding statistic to take from the piece is that 1 in 6 women will be raped in their lifetimes, which creates some scary statistics about how many men are rapists.

One commentor had an amazingly astute response, which I've linked here, but I'm also copying for the sake of simplicity:

"You know, it never occurred to me before now, but I’ve never seen that “one in six” (or however many) statistic turned around that way, and I think that’s probably the other side of the “how not to get raped” coin. Or… I guess… the same side, but a different part of the etching. I don’t know, metaphor, not my strong suit.

MY POINT IS:

When we talk about rape as something that happens to 1 in 6 women, it is something that happens to women. Oh no, women! You have a problem! A women’s problem! That has to do with women! What are women going to do to solve this problem?

Perhaps if we rephrased that as “one in sixty (or however many) men will commit rape in his lifetime,” the problem might start to look a little different to certain people."

The point I feel like I'm coming back to, again and again, is that all materials on the nature of rape should not be PHRASED AROUND WOMEN or PHRASED AROUND THE SURVIVOR. I believe ardently that saying that 1 in 6 WOMEN will SUFFER from rape in their lifetime still somehow makes them implicit in the act. Rape isn't something that naturally happens without a perpetrator--somebody MAKES it happen, i.e. the RAPIST--and THIS PERSON is the one who should have statistics. Like "1 in 30 men will rape in his lifetime and 50% of these men will rape more than once." Doesn't that sound more truthful?

I acknowledge the fact that not all rapists are men, but still, hear me out: the RAPISTS are responsible for RAPE!!!!!!! MY CAPITAL LETTERS CAN NOT EXPRESS MY EXTREME OUTRAGE ENOUGH!!!

The bottom line is that rape is not the victim's problem to solve, ergo it is not a "woman's problem." Rape and sexual assaults are humanity's problems, period. End of story.

this post NSFW

I read today about a brutal gang rape that occurred in California (news article here).

Not only was it a brutal gang rape, but the girl was 15 and as many as 15 people stood around and watched and/or participated.

I hate thinking about this event. I hate thinking about the ways I have to try to be safe as a girl living in a city. I hate thinking about the fact that someone will make excuses for what happened to this girl or any girl. Yes, there are gray areas when it comes to sexual assault, but the bottom line is that it is NOT THE VICTIM'S RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT BE A VICTIM. I mean, think about it--trying to not be a victim isn't a course of action you can decisively "take." You either ARE or you AREN'T based on the DECISIONS AND ACTIONS of OTHER PEOPLE.

I'll stop here with the overemphasis capital letters, but the reason I wanted to write this post was to include this list about preventing sexual assault (you can read the original web comment on Jezebel here).

"How to Prevent Sexual Assault

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how "into it" others appear to be."

I don't know if everyone has to go to Remedial How to be a Human Being 101, but the fact of the matter is that women's bodies aren't here to torture men because they are so sexual and they can't have us. We shouldn't have to wander around with our defenses up at all times because we are so sexually appealing men can't "control" themselves. I know I'm talking in ideals right now but godDAMN people! Stop it with the rape already! And stop telling women how to avoid it! Not every decision every person makes in regards to their own safety is necessarily the smartest, safest choice: but should the punishment really be brutal rape? Just because this 15 year old girl agreed to drink with a boy she knew from school, does that really mean she has to beaten until she's in critical condition? Why must the stakes be so high? Her night should have ended with a fight with her parents for breaking curfew.